Jane is devastated. Her best friend passed away unexpectedly.
Jane’s friend was living her best life when she suddenly passed away.
Jane and her friend were around the same age. Jane didn’t even know that her friend was sick. She wasn’t. Her friend’s passing was one of those tragedies that no one saw coming. Just two weeks ago, her friend of thirty years was celebrating the new year with the usual gang, joking, laughing, and dropping sushi from chopsticks that she had never quite mastered.
Understandably Jane was plunged into grief, confused that the brilliant light that was her friend had been extinguished without so much as a flicker on the breeze to signal what was to come.
Her friend’s unexpected passing caused Jane to pause to reflect on her own mortality. It could have been Jane who had been selected to climb that one-way staircase to heaven. It wasn’t her time, as some might say.
Still, Jane felt emotionally clobbered, wracked by guilt that her friend had been whisked away on a sudden turn in the king tide. Set adrift on a current of fear and helplessness, Jane flapped and floundered knowing that she was unable to retrieve her friend. She was distraught for her loss. She was equally distraught to be unable to deny a certain inevitability that one day, probably not of her choosing, she would be signed off from her own life.
Nightmares featuring her own princess clad body lying in state, routinely rocketed her out of her slumber. Too often, she would find herself sitting bolt upright in bed, checking her heartbeat to convince herself that she was still alive.
Jane promptly booked herself in for a medley of health checks, to seek reassurance that she has a few good years of living in her yet.
Jane’s experience is a normal part of the grieving process when we lose someone close.
It’s also quite normal in this situation to focus on where your important personal information is and who could find it easily if the inevitable happens.
Even if you are closer to the beginning of your life than the end, it is important to organize your vital information and put it in one secure place. At the very least, you will avoid creating chaos and compounding grief and distress for your family and friends should you pass unexpectedly. Those who love you will be devastated. They will be unlikely to be thinking clearly and they may have no idea where your vital information is.
Do you have an up to date will? What about a power of attorney, advance care directive or organ donation? Where are your instructions for distributing your sentimental items? Who should care for your children? Pets? Property?
You need to store all your important essential information in one very secure online place where your authorized trustee can access it. That place is Secure My Treasures, www.securemytreasures.com
Look over these resources to help you through your grief.
Help when someone you love dies suddenly. https://sudden.org/help-for-friends-and-communities/sudden-bereavement-challenges/ (Accessed 4 Jan 2024)
My best friend unexpectedly died. This is what I learned about unrelenting grief. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/best-friend-death-grief_n_627a8106e4b00fbab6343aa9 (Accessed 4 Jan 2024)
If you require immediate support or advice, please see your general practitioner, or call the Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636. The Support Service is open 24 hours, seven days a week.
If you are in an emergency, or at immediate risk of harm to yourself or others, please call 000.